Handy Concepts Arts

A year ago this month, almost to the day, I stopped creating art. At least in the sense of painting or drawing or doing anything in the studio. At that time, I had just finished the installation for a solo show in a gallery and though I was happy, I felt drained. Additionally, my stress levels were high as I was dealing with a family matter that only I could handle. So, I sat down and didn’t get up.

Daily chores were difficult to perform. Creative thinking was a struggle. Critical thinking was on the verge of complete collapse. With the love and help of my husband, I eventually made those hard decisions and tried to be OK with my circumstances. It’s taken a great deal of patience and prayer and perseverance, but we are here and moving forward. My husband never pushed me or judged me but took up the mantle of running the house and was always there to console me when I cried.

And for months, I would go and sit in my studio and try to will myself to create. But I just sat, sometimes cleaned, sometimes just watched television, but mostly just sat looking around.

First steps: attempting to crack open my creative block and fight my depression, I took to reviewing past paintings/artwork for possible inspiration. Just looking through my paintings on the shelves, perusing photos of past works, seeing some of my favorites that have gone on to new homes, and in that process, I gathered more than 100 images of my work that I liked and assembled them into book format. And I decided I was going to create a legacy for my grandchildren. Something they could hold.

Second step: earlier this year, as I was finishing up my book, I accepted a commission that I absolutely did not want to do. But having accepted the job and having a definite subject with a deadline, I was pushed into action. I was forced to create something new. Surprisingly, to me at least, it was done in record time. Signed, packaged, and delivered ahead of schedule. It felt so natural.

Step three: Although I had put together all those images for the book, and added some of my poetry and other writings, I really didn’t feel like I was being “creative”. But when it was printed and I saw the first draft in real size, I finally became excited. I hadn’t created anything “new” in my opinion, but I had found a way to channel the old into a new format. I published 13K, Paintings, Poetry and Prose on my mother’s birthday in January.

This week, I returned to the studio. I’ve completed several small pastel and watercolor drawings to loosen up, and I’m finally ready to move some of the new thoughts in my head to canvas.

I’m back and I’m moving forward.